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Grano Onis

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A member registered May 02, 2021

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Just some critiques I have so far. Please note that I really do like the game. You have something great developing, even with so little content.

I would like to be able to see the turn order. Maybe have portraits along the top or on the left side of the screen with numbers in the corner of the portraits similar to how Mario Kart does it?

 

Pekora's "automatic" Forage does not seem to be working. Does "near the front" mean either of the first two positions or the position second from the front?

 

I don't see the point in Marine being able to gain up to 300 doubloons if the damage output of Money Drop is the same regardless of how many doubloons she has when she uses the ability. This also makes her Spark ability useless aside from passing if there are no enemies in the first two positions.

 

Lea's line when she first appears "Basically, I travel between worlds. There are other worlds our there other than your own, sometimes people get lost in different worlds, and I help them find their way home." The second comma between "own" and "sometimes" needs to be a period, and "sometimes" needs to be capitalized.

 

Is Hololive HQ really in Tokyo? If that has been confirmed, then okay. If not, then (and take this with a grain of salt) I would recommend having Lea say that she's traveled to Japan many times rather than Tokyo specifically.

 

I'm not going to correct the grammar the characters are using unless it's really bad since the incorrect grammar can sometimes feel more natural. Because this is both an indie game and a free game, I think you can get away with this.

 

The description "slightly more different" when introducing the Explosive Slimes is redundant. This would not be the case if a different slime had already been encountered, but since this is the first slime variant encountered (first enemy at all after the normal slimes, in fact), the "more" is unnecessary.

 

"Pekora... Are you sure Flare is inside?" The "Are" should not be capitalized because the ellipsis is not ending the sentence.

 

If this were a book or other form of written/typed media, the past tense would be proper. However, since this is a video game, what is being described is occurring in real-time (the player is witnessing the events). Words such as "attacked" and "ran" should be "attack" and "run" unless one of the characters is describing something that has already occurred.

 

"All the ruckus the girls were making has attracted a group of goblins." This sentence should be, "All the ruckus the girls [have been] making has attracted a group of goblins."